Feeling Beautiful (it’s a trap)

feeling beautiful

There is so much written on how to feel beautiful.  Mostly reminders for us to pamper ourselves a little, do good things for our bodies, and focus on positive thinking.  They are great, and doing these things does help.  But I’m starting to think that the whole “feeling beautiful” idea is a trap.

It sets us up to fail, or at the very least, always fall short.  The idea that beautiful is a feeling turns it into something fleeting, unstable, that can leave us at any moment.  Marketing capitalizes on this insecurity, and encourages us to keep buying new products that will either help us capture the feeling, or help us keep it.  And most of us, me included, buy into the myth that one day we will get the combo right and the “feeling” will overtake us.  We will finally be happy, we will feel beautiful, and life will be what we imagine it should be.

The only problem is, that whole story is crap.

If we continue to think that a certain sized body, with a certain shape, a certain skin color, and a certain wardrobe/cosmetics brand/dedication to beating our bodies up mentally or physically will make us feel beautiful, we will fail.  Every time.  These things may be lovely, and coveted, but they won’t guarantee you that feeling of beautiful, even if you achieve them.  The hardest thing is to say F the standards, and start loving the beauty you contain.  The beauty is already there, even if you don’t recognize it.

The secret to beautiful is that we already are.  We are beautiful from the start.  Seriously.  I see it all around me, everyday.  When people are laughing freely, enjoying various sensations of living, when their vulnerability and quirky awesomeness breaks through their adopted mannerisms, when strength and courage from somewhere deep inside comes out blazing.  It almost always sparkles when people are doing something that makes them happy.  The people we find truly beautiful often have the ability to be comfortable in their own skin.  They are the ones on a serious mission to soak up all of the pleasures of life – good company, interesting ideas, the wonderful things about wherever they are.  They see beauty in the world.  And not just in the things we’ve been told are beautiful, but in the cracks and hidden spaces.

In the work we do I have the luxury to spend time with many amazing, powerful, talented, inspiring, and seriously beautiful women.  What they all have in common, is that they try to be the best version of themselves.  And that’s pretty stunning!  Their commitment to their health, to living full lives literally turns heads.  Not because everyone looks like they’ve stepped off a magazine shoot.  It’s because of the calm confidence they radiate in part, I think, because they are taking care of themselves as part of living, not as an afterthought.

My hope is that we can remember that we let our beauty shine when we are happiest, loving, living well and enjoying all of the small moments life offers to us.  My hope if that for this week, amid the stresses, schedules and obstacles, we can all focus a little on how beautiful we are.

Have a gorgeous week!


I would love to hear from you!  Drop me a note in the comment section or post it to our Facebook page.  Tell me how your #beautiful week is going, or what you do to remind yourself just how stunning you are :)